Copying is sooo easy!

Is it wrong that i still think of you sometimes even though it has been forever since we last talked face to face? 

Is it wrong that i still have feelings for you even though I think that we will never meet again?

Is it wrong that a freaking facebook poke from you gets me happy?

Is it wrong that I want you to be all mine even though we are just friends?

Is it wrong that I cant even bring myself to say your name in this post?

Cover your ears!

Fuck!!!!

Why is it that my plans never work out?

I just wanted to write a blog about what was on my mind and as soon as I get on the computer I lose all of my thoughts....Now I am sitting here in my cold room (huzzah for coldness anybody?) trying to remember what silly insignificant thought was on my mind....

Oh well might as well keep typing..

So I've been listening to podcasts and it got me to thinking that I really want to start one. Now what would it be about? Well while thinking about topics my mind went directly to the conversations that happened during my lunch in High School...Sure it may be crude but they were truly hilarious discussions about whatever the hell was brought up, and that is not to say that we never brought up some thought provoking subjects..but if i ever started a podcast that is the type of feel that I want to capture. It seems funny that basically what I am saying is that I want the podcast to be what everyone wants there podcast to be: a conversation between friends about a certain topic. I just feel that a group of friends plus me could lead to an awesome podcast.

Ahhh there is another thing I would like to do but probably will never get done.....but I am really committed to doing this with some people it just seems like a  truly wonderful idea...I don't want to be selfish and not share my craziness with the world!

I'm thinking a revolution is needed!

I have to stop acting smart...I am not smart...I never was, I never will be...I see the way that people can elegantly express their emotions or make witty remarks about the the hypocrisy of the world....How whatever they write is so finely put together that it makes even the smartest remark that I have ever spewed out accidentally seem like the excrements of a homeless person with a horrible case of the runs....How they can have an opinion on almost everything that actually makes rational sense....But I am not that...My deep level thinking usually revolves around the thoughts of why no one has been able to genetically engineer pokemon...It saddens me that I bring down the standards of most people...Though in a good way I am so clueless that it makes even the simplest of simpletons seem like a graduate of harvard, yale, or some other ivy league school. In fact I know that this whole post has made no sense at all...and if it has please seek medical attention quickly because you know that the incoherent babblings of an emotionally unstable individual should not be understood, but rather studied so that you can somehow find a cure for this nonsensical writing....

Oh woe is me! For I have been living a lie all my life..."yes you are smart" "you are going to achieve something"

poppycock i say! Oh how i wish upon a star that is meant for wishing that my wish that I wish does come true...one of these days I would like to feel like I am the "smart" person people claim I am...

As i sit here in the vast emptiness that is my walled of room 

I am left to imagine what it is like being smart...

does it hurt?..does it tingle?

On a completely unrelated note I am glad that in it's on weird way this has been very therapeutic for myself..I know that most of you will not read this..in fact i'd be shocked if someone did...but if by some very slim chance you decided to put yourself through the torture that are my thoughts I apologize greatly....

Imagine this as trippy movie that only gets weirder every time you see it  

Only time will tell if i change...but I do have a say

So as I sit here in the ever expanding darkness that is my room I am left to wonder why I am up. There is no reason for me to be up...it's not like if i'm chatting it up with people sharing awesome stories or making plans....hell i'm not even playing videogames. My life is just a pitiful shell of what I used to be, and that is saying something because I used to be a debbie downer and now I'm not even good enough to be that. I just wish I could get into a car and just drive somewhere, anywhere. But I can't even do that, first the car is broken and secondly and most importantly I don't have my license and I'm pretty sure I need that soon...I don't know have a hunch I might need it. 

I never thought I would say this but I really want for school to start...I want a new beginning. I want to start again, I have my whole life ahead of me and I feel like this is the end...no I don't mean death but just that I have lived already. Which is completely sad Since I've done nothing and I'm so young. I want to work, make money and go blow it by going out and enjoying life. I want to....I want to...I want to, that's all I ever say. 

I think I have wayyyyy too much time on my hands I need to start doing something and put my brain to use. I've spent way too much time listening to sports. 

Also efffff this weather!!!!!!!!

Ahhh the wonderful sound of silence...and talking

Hello nation of non readers, i'm sorry i haven't put out content for you not to read but you see i'm a really busy man...I mean i am just swamped with all of this nothing. I wonder if you guys know how hard it is to wake up in the morning with nothing to do, nothing to look forward to, and nowhere to be...It really is tiring. Some days I just get wishing I had to do something but then i remember that someone has to do nothing...and i consider it my civic duty to do nothing so each and every one of you not reading this can go out in the world and do something.
 It seems like i'm sort of super hero.

But because of all this doing nothing business I have really started to listen to podcasts. My itunes is overflowing with em...i think I am subscribed to 17....but before I hear that is too much i only listen to a couple of them...it's on rotation and some are really short...But I have no idea why i am defending how I spend my time...I really must be bored to be blogging about listening to podcasts.....

I miss my PS3!!!! Oh and The Scott Pilgrim vs the world videogame is freaking epic!!! Nothing like an 8 bit beat em up! Go buy it on the psn or on xbla!

The sun is shining!

Today is a beautiful day!

People are outside doing things and I...am not a part of any of that. I am stuck inside of my house. Yes readers that i don't have I again am complaining about my boredom. It seems summer 2010 for Eduardo is the lamest one ever....I just want someone to invite me somewhere...yes i might not go, but the thought would mean a lot to me...why is that? Well it would mean that i was still alive and that someone out there recognized that..

I feel like the invisible man right now...most likely how i will always feel...oh well :/

Depressed blogger is depressed!

Finally thoughts about something!

Oh television how i love you soo....with all the variety of shows that you have that I can watch at any given time.

but what is up with every station deciding that they need the equivalent of what every other station has...or the fact that they need to re do genres that have already been tried...It seriously irks me.
I should not be speaking on this matter seeing as how I love Hell's kitchen, a reality cooking show (like that has never been done before) But the reason that I love it is that it has a twist on traditional shows...it is not really about the cooking. In fact it is not really a cooking show, the show is just people that know how to cook placed in a kitchen with a man yelling at them for an hour. The show is just people being put against one another and watching their emotions get them, and I love that. Yes I do watch traditional cooking shows that do deal with the cooking but Hell's Kitchen is takes it to a level where it appeals to me...the countless bleeps make me smile!

But what does this have to do with what i was talking about before, well i've been browsing around the television and it seems that every station is putting out the same shows, and they are remaking genres of tv shows....basically what I ma getting at is WHY SO MANY FUCKING COP SHOWS!!!!!!!

It seems that ever since there has been tv people have been making cop shows, which is not bad because like i said people usually put twists on them...but as of late every freaking cop show has the same basic premise...rookie that has to learn the ropes..or it follows a veteran of the force and the shows are always dramas...ugh it sickens me....these shows never last and they are all the same
same with medical shows.....they are all the same, well except for House, even though House has problems of its own. (why is it that whenever House is talking to someone and reflecting about his life that he gets the solution to the medical mystery that was damn near impossible before...well i watch that show for the characters not the medicine)

I guess I'm just wishing that all tv shows could be like Glee, Lost, and so on.....I guess I want originality (hence why I gave the show flashforward a chance, I mean i personally have never seen a show like that before..well except for lost haha), I want character development, I want to feel for the people on screen..but i'm basically repeating what everyone has repeated before.

I do like the typical shows that just cater to my simple desires...but i would love a show that is intellectual and has character development....anyone have any suggestions because i would love to find new things!

Also any ideas on some good action animes? and a site i can view them on... 

The Blog that was not supposed to be a blog

So as i sit here laying in bed I am wondering why I even have rough drafts to these blasted blogs!....Every day at 6th period I sit at my table and plan things out. I go through a process, I come up with a witty title, think of a very deep topic, then write about said topic. But then i get home and what happens....I forget to write it or I don't feel like typing. I do want to talk about these topics, I mean i still have some ones that I need to discuss: My "Every Man Must Accept" project, super sexy fun time, and some song ones. There is so much that I need to do in life but I don't have the drive to do it.....Oh well

(haha I just did one of those "sorry for not posting" blogs...in like the most subtle way ever...SCORE!)

You take some Beyond add some Scoop and you get a Blog!

Hahaha thanks to Beyond i have found some new music and I must say I am hooked!

The song that I am in love with at the moment is "Far" by Jonah Knight, his website here

I joined his mailing list and I got 6 free songs and I must say i love them. Go check them out....but now onto me.

I am bored and do not want to study...I'm training my pokemons though lol..got them up to level 60 and i still haven't gotten the last two badges yet! woo me! Pokemon SoulSilver Version go buy the game and battle me lol

I've learned that strangers talk to me more than my friends :D

So as I sit here in my cold dark room I have two things that come to mind: why don't I turn on the light? and how long do you think it is really gonna last? I mean seriously something is gonna happen and BAM back to the beginning.

Well as far as making friends go today was a ok day. I gotta say I love omeggle, no penises on camera...heck there a no cameras..and you have to rely on your ability to talk to people. The anonymity helps but I would like to think I can make friends because of my personality....damn I need to pick another song to listen to....not because they don't know who I am....yay a good song.

WAIT!!!!!!!!! Why don't I go on last.fm or pandora? I am sooo weird, I mean I keep on writing these stupid blogs, Do people actually read them? Should I care if you read them?

Ahhhh i love writing nonsensically while listening to music...it makes it feel like if what i am writing is very important and not just the ramblings of some bored 18 year old douchebag with too much time on his hands...Nope what i am writing is literature..yeah that is what it is...let me tell you a story..gather round, it is pretty interesting if you love lame stories.

There once was a boy, he was not a typical boy, he felt that he needed a girlfriend to be cool. That was what he aimed for, a girl. So this led him to fall in love with every girl that he met. He crushed on every single girl he met. While having crushes is not bad, he got them soo bad he got depressed really bad whenever one of these girls actually fell in love with a guy they wanted to be with. Not only that but he failed to see the girls that actually liked him. So to deal with his "pain" he made a blog......HAHAHAHA

See I am a story teller.....I do want a Girlfriend though....I guess when the time is right..oh well BACK TO YOUTBE!!!!!!!!

The only way to make it is to fake it!

A wise man once told me "when god gives you lemons you find a new god!"...this seems perfectly reasonable to me. The only problem is that I haven't been given lemons!!! :( I want my lemons dammit!!! Maybe I can make lemonade with them too? Which leads to my next point: I AM ALWAYS THIRSTY! . Maybe I ma being told that I should try and find this "thing" that will cure my thirst. Something that will solve all my problems, I get it now! I am on a quest, a quest to find something to quench my thirst, and this thing will make my life complete. Or I could just be thirsty? ;)

So as I write this I have many thoughts flowing through my head......DUH! just like everyone else....no stupid I mean my type of thoughts!....which are?....ummm you know the usual....the usual being?....ummm stuff you know....sex?....NO! well kinda, but who doesn't think about sex?....normal people!....so you are saying i'm not normal?.....kinda.....well that isn't the only thing, you are making me out to be a pervert....well you are!...not all the time, i'm way more nerdy than perverted.....sure!....i'm serious!....yeah I bet you are...do you wanna know what I was thinking about?............is that a yes?...sure..I was thinking about how no one loves me....oh way to get all emo on me...what it is true!...yeah everyone in the world hates you, you are unloved and will die alone...yep basically..idiot i was being sarcastic!...no you weren't, that is how I feel....ohh boo hoo baby, man up, you are barely 18 years old....well this is the high time of my life....oh really now?....yes it is...well get back to me when you are happily married to the girl of your dreams and have kids running around and tell me when you were 18 was the best time of your life....gah!!!! you suck.....haha

Life is better with a soundtrack!

Well i might as well do this...i was gonna do it eventually. I should make this a weekly feature.....i have to flesh this out better....maybe call it what i am up to?....or something like that...if you have any suggestions let me know...haha i still can't believe that i think that people read this!

Well let me start with the music...as of this moment I've had two songs stuck in my head





I have the weirdest musical tastes....I am sooo cool

As far as what i am playing i must be hones that I am playing Wii sports....haha i'm getting better at baseball...

I need to flesh this out more...but this is a work in progress, and I am having fun.....

I wonder if i should have a generic what are you listening to question?

I think I will since I love listening to new music!

So what is everyone listening to at the moment?.....Oh and anything else that you wanna mention (TV videogames etc.!)

Trying to be something you are not totally makes you cool!

If i wanted to be profound I would just say something profound right?

Well I don't know if I should do the typical "oh i'm soooo sorry for not posting on here so much!" or if i should try to do my own thing and tell you to suck it and deal with the lack of posts!

*Isn't bitching about not wanting to conform conforming?*

Well yeah it has been awhile since I last typed something that had meaning....and i don't mean on this little 'ol blog of mine.

Now as far as actually typing something with substance i must say that I can not think of anything.....for once in my life I am out of thoughts, I don't have any drama (fake or real) that i want to express, I do not feel like the world is ignoring me...I am truly at the point where I can say my life is boring.

I spend my days on the internet browsing youtube videos, or talking to a girl who wants nothing to do with me......wow i'm such a loser!
Hopefully one of these days I can have fun....and i don't mean at my house. I wanna go out and talk to people i've never met before. I wanna go drinking...this way people will think that I am cool.....hopefully even get wasted enough so I finally bang some chick.....maybe just some random chick i have just met....get to leave her after I am done and never see her again.....and once I am done with all of that go drinking again and do it all over again!

Now that sounds like a plan.......maybe I can just sit on the sideline of this when all of this is happening and be super judgmental....then I can be a dick and get a girl.....girls love people who are dicks!

Hey while I am at it i should just go and say that I am a very pure individual and have standards, and then do completely shady things and go against everything that i preach....yes that would be perfect! Now that I have my plans to become something that I am not...I must try to do this!

I mean what's the worst that can happen...I can only see positives in all of this...I mean people will think that I am cool...isn't that what living is all about? I mean if you aren't cool you are not living....Haven't we all heard that is what living is about?

I guess trying to be something that you are not totally makes you cool!

Well as this song nears the end of it's 8th time of being played I must say that I wish I had something talk about...it's weird not knowing what to write about.


I think i will go back to youtube and talking to a girl who doesn't care!

Why I love life!

These last couple of days have been amazing, i've been out of the house being me. That is a thought that is amazing to hear.
Meeting new people is fun too. Today i happen to meet two new amazing people, and  who would thought that in a couple of hours of talking we would already have so many inside jokes. Don't judge me for playing cafe world, pokemon, and all the other things i do!
I think that i am getting prepared for the next phase of my life, college i will be meeting new people, and if they are anything like the people i met today, well i am going to love life even more haha.

I wish i was at the river!

So for the last couple of days i have had a song stuck in my head, it all started with a video by joehands0me. Here is the video



I was captured by the song, it sweet jazzy sound with a hypnotic drum pattern. So I decided that i needed that song, little did i know that the song would fit in perfectly with a nice breezy spring day. Everything blended so well together. I must thank this song since it actually got me to be more creative. To sound really lame it inspired me.

And as I look outside today I am reminded of how amazing the world is! haha

Enjoy and if you like it buy it!

Ice Cream is delicious!

Day 2 of this experiment.

Today has been what the cool kids call a good day. It has been very easy, but not so much that you became bored with it. It is always good when you feel comfortable in what you are wearing and today happened to be one of those days. It felt so good to wear shorts for the first time in a long time.

One thing that did strike me as odd is the amount of hugs that I received today. I mean it went up by two today, therefore raising my total to two. I mean i never receive hugs, i don't think people view me as that type of person who deserves to be hugged. Maybe i am just being too dramatic about hugs. But back on point, the thing is that these were not hugs from people i usually talk to. Maybe a hello here or there but nothing that would warrant a hug, well i do talk to one of the girls but the other one and me don't really talk much. Which is a shame, i love talking to people, i love getting to know someone and what they like. Oh but getting back to the hugs, i am way to distracted, they were from very beautiful women, so you can call that a win right?

I think that this can be considered as a sign that i love hugs....I wonder if anyone else shares that view with me?

Poem Overload!!!

you really make me feel good
no denying that
a smile from you is like winning the lotto
i enjoy that
i wake up and smile because i had a dream about you
but then................
something comes over me and all i see is rage
anger consumes me fueling the flame
i try to put it out but it's always the same
i try to calm down and whisper your name
but deep down the feeling is there
all because i can't say those words

simply put you make me happy
and I like happy
-------------------------------------------------------------
i thought today would be different
and you would stop being so indifferent
to my feelings and emotions
and realize i would cross oceans
just to see you smile......

you plus me equals something fantastic
until you've been with me you wont know romantic

understand life has never been better
ever since the day that i first met her

you are the only one worth trying for
you are the only one worth dying for

i like cats and i like cats too
another thing that's true
is how much i love you

i expect a juice box everyday
fantastic idea i must say

BEYOND!!!!!is what i shout on Thursday
SCOOP!!!!!! is what i shout on Friday
I LOVE YOU!!!!!is what i shout everyday
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Poem transfers are fun!

10-9-09
Everything i'm not made me everything I am.
I'm no poet, heck I know it. (haha)
In fact i'm not anything you like, i'm just me.
I'm funny, sweet, and a nice person; or at least people tell me.
I'm just me,
and everything i'm not made me everything I am.

I'm not assertive, far from it.
You can call me a pushover, but i'm no pussy

I'm a peacemaker in a time of war.
A person who asks what good is it for.
A lost soul ever wandering trying to find,
something to occupy his lonely mind.
Random thoughts always appear,
whenever I have something to fear.

Which is always,
because all day,
I sit staring at the world.
--------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2-4-10

Love your life.
Live each day like it was your last,
Cuz nobody can tell you when your clock will stop ticking,
and nobody can make you stop thinking,
about the love of your life.
Funny how one word can change it all.
Focusing from you to the girl you would hive it all up for.
That one little word changed your view,
now you know why you have a reason to live;
a reason to live it up.
To say to death that you don't give a fu**.
Death is uncertain,
but your love for her isn't.
your love is eternal,
and that makes death mad,
sad,
but makes you glad!
because you realize,
that a spiritual force can't even break you up.
So don't let petty arguments get in your way,
just turn, look at her and say,
"Baby you are the love of my life,
so will you please give me the honor of being my wife?"
To love your life,
you must have the love of your life.

Procrastinating

I've decide that to do my homework is a waste of time, well not really. I just really don't want to do it but i must if i ever want to achieve my dreams. But before I try and achieve them I must first decide on what I want my dreams to be. It seems that I have the general idea down but i can't seem to know how I am going to do actually accomplish them.

I think that I am going to use this site as a way to post up my poetry, blog, maybe a video or two?